The Bachelorette Recap

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Season 16 | Episode 3

Another week, another episode of the Clare and Dale’s love story… I mean the Bachelorette. At this point I truly feel bad for the rest of the guys cause they literally stand no chance against Dale.

First lets get to Yosef… this guy needs to GTFO. He is all up in arms about the strip dodgeball group date from last week (THAT HE WASN’T EVEN ON) and seriously bro, just go home. If you’re THAT offended over some dudes stripping down because they lost a game on a group date then you 1. have no life and 2. must be hiding something very small in order to feel that strongly about it (cough, cough).

So this freakin’ guy actually brings up this “concern” to Clare. He proceeds to express to Clare how “degrading” and “humiliating” that group date was, and then says HE’S EMBARASSED TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH HER. Oh my dear God HE DID NOT. At this point I am so LIVID that Yosef has spoken to Clare this way because she in no way shape or form deserved that. We get finally see the part ABC has been teasing all season, Clare going off saying yeah she’s 39 and single because she “didn’t settle for MEN. LIKE. THAT.” Amen sista!

Then like Prince Charming on a white horse, Dale swoops in to wipe Clare’s tears and tells her that she doesn’t deserve a man like that; leaving Clare on cloud 9 all over again. Clare expresses to the guys that she doesn’t want to continue with the remainder of the cocktail party, which means straight on to the rose ceremony. Surprise to NO ONE, Dale gets the first rose. Two guys end up going home (well, 3 including Yosef), and I couldn’t tell you their names. But they are better off in the long run, as Clare clearly wants no one but Dale.

The next day we have a group date, which I’m actually surprised Dale is on. But before the group date former bachelorette DeAnna comes to visit Clare and chat about her journey thus far. Again, to no surprise to anyone, all Clare talks about is Dale. But then, in a turn of events, there is no group date – its not cancelled and there will just be a very long cocktail party instead. I will say, even though I’ve heard endless rumors about what happens this season, I’m still wondering what the heck is going to happen!

In the extended cocktail party, Dale starts off by taking Clare right away to spend some time with her. I have to say – watching Clare with Dale is like watching a 12 year old with her first crush and it’s pretty cute. An hour later of them making out, Eazy FINALLY knocks on Clare’s suite, but his time with her does not last long. Clare basically sweeps through hdf time with the rest of the guys and then Dale comes BACK to talk to Clare when he already had an hour with her!! I can’t. The tension between him and the rest of the guys is SO awkward, as they are not pleased with Dale. Chasen ends up interrupting Dale and Clare, and when Dale gets back to the rest of the group, Riley and Eazy grill him. Personally, I see both sides. I get why Riley and Eazy are upset, but at the end of the day the goal is to get to know her more… and Dale is just shooting his shot best.

Then, to twist the knife in each of the guys’ backs, Clare gives the group rose date to Dale. I can’t, y’all. I can’t. Dale adds another twist to these knives by mistakenly telling the guys he was best suited to console Clare, and I just can’t get over how crazy this season is only 3 episodes in.

The second one-on-one date is upon us, with Zach. Since they can’t travel anywhere and it’s COVID, they’re just walking a few steps to the La Quinta spa for pedicures and massages. Zach is clearly not in his element though, admitting that he is a “high strung guy” and it takes a lot for him to unwind, which is showing.

Then things just get WEIRD. Clare leans in to kiss Zach, there’s obviously some sort of miscommunication because Zach doesn’t really lean in back, and Clare takes major offense to it. So much offense to the point where Clare doesn’t show up to the dinner portion of their one-on-one date and has Chris Harrison send him home!!

The second group date is on, which is a roast. This should be good. Again, no shock to anyone, all the guys end up ripping on Dale. Bennett goes OFF on Dale though, in my opinion, out of pure jealousy. Clare gets very offended by all the hostility towards Dale, especially at Bennett’s bit. Ultimately all the roasting on Dale backfires, because all Clare wants to talk about in each of her conversations is Dale. Clare ends up not giving a rose out on the group date at all and the episode ends.

Next week looks CRAZY though y’all – I think next week will officially be our last week of Clare – but hey, what do I know.

See ya next week!

Laura

The Bachelorette

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